How to Be Perfect

Take a second to visualize a perfect flower. Did you imagine one in full bloom? A fully bloomed flower dancing in the breeze on a sunny day is a flower expressing its fullest potential, but is a flower seed, still buried in the ground, not perfectly being a flower? For that matter, is not a bud pushing through the dirt, or a flower halfway in bloom, or a flower shriveling up and dying not all examples of a flower perfectly being itself given the conditions and timing of its life? 

A flower isn’t created fully in bloom, it has to go through a transformation. We aren’t much different. We need to find good soil, experience optimal conditions for growth as well as endure the various seasons of our life to reach our fullest potential. The difference between us is that a flower can only be a flower, but we tend to reject our true selves and try to be something else. And the flower doesn’t choose the soil it grows in, but we can decide to uproot and bury ourselves in lies, shame, guilt and anger. 

So what’s the good soil we’re looking for? Fundamentally, a nutritious environment for our growth is one of compassion. Radical self acceptance is the fertilizer for development, but if you’re like me, you have plenty of reasons to live in shame, guilt, anger, desire and other low-level consciousness states which stunt your growth. 

I am constantly reminded that I’m not who I could be. Then I remember that, like the flower, I’m not created fully bloomed. I am in my unfolding. Why should I be any different than anything else in nature? I need to be developed and it’s these consistent challenges in my life that lead to my growth. So when the temptation to focus on my failings comes up, I can remember that I’m unfolding the perfection within. When feelings of shame and guilt creep in, I can remind myself that even though I’m experiencing these feelings at the moment, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.